Rise of the Naked Sportsblog King


According to my read-test, most Sportsbloggers (aka: Blogsquirt-asorus) apparently know a good bit less about the sport in which they have type-spouted their esteemed opines than they do of basic Journalism101, which itself appears not to be a qualifier of their education, talent, and/or experience of either endeavor. IMHO, today’s internet media Sportswriting hard-scrabble of blog buddies, well… SUCKS the bigun.

And yet it are these little men with their little man voices that many times rise above the din of more intelligent thought and perspective, while said (bumblebrain) freely quashes anyone who is not humbled, nor pay compliment tithes of homage to his rumble-rattle. For He And Only He bears the title of The Almighty Blog Admin. By simply weilding THE BAN BUTTON thus banning dissenters from further commenting on his daily word slaughter (read: sports blog) man-god secretly has control of a propaganda machine while giving the appearance of objectivity.

Admittedly, sucking up has never been one of my strong suits, and I still live rather happily with myself despite this unnerving character flaw. Thus, I have found myself uncerimoniously relegated to the leper colony of The Banned Commentor on two SBNation puny web sports sites.

Oh my?

Others like me, who disagree with inane and faulty premises from these powerless power-hungry power dolts beware: By the use of metrics, analytics, statistics, historical data, or facts supporting your position, you are in danger of running afoul of the Freedom of Blogsquirt disInformation Law (or s0mething). You may possibly get banned from wasting your valuable discretionary time spent educating RahRah boys, and thus have to find actual meaningful pursuits instead.

Never underestimate a sportsblog Editor’s disdain for your superior writing or knowledge of the Sport… uh, using daggers of witty truths. Since he knows zilch to nothing of analyzing metrics or anything else for that matter, he simply parrots the jargon found on more reasoned and competent sites, where real professionals actually do the math. Yet I beseech thee to never point out a Sportsflogger’s weakness… unless done so discreetly. The BannerHammer awaits your comment, lol.

Many nitwit sportsbloggers take thoughtful refuting of their over-the-top stupidity as a personal affront. This of course, makes me very happy. And, it heightens my perceptions too. Zing! Boink! Bam!

I was recently informed by one lame brain OMG? SPediTor that by my using the word Bricksoe, instead of the regular Briscoe (as in Kentucky basketball’s Isaiah) I had violated the SBNation terms of service which “will NOT BE TOLERATED ON a SBNation SITE”, and “though I may think it witty, (he – sportsgod writer) does not”.

Well… if wit is described as a funny but twisted look at a person or situation that fits the bill… I’m GUILTY as charged! 

Oh my.

When you consider Isaiah Briscoe, the speedy Freshman guard at Kentucky was shooting about 23% on jump shots and free throws, I’d say writing “Bricksoe” was kinder and gentler than most fan sites would have been on their own players, and should have been commended… not vilified. Or, what was it called back when teams could foul a certain player where even IronCity Beer was considered smoother going down. Clank. Boing. Pittscoe? Blatscoe? ArmandHammerDown Rim Rattler mortar-mason jockey?

Sheei… don’t get me wrong, I think Isaiah is a fine ball player overall, a good guy off the court, and a future NBA baller if only he can learn to shoot from 15 feet. The rest it seems, he has down pat. His twisting dipsy doodles at the rim seem to almost always find their way to the basket, if not his wide-open undefended 10-footers typically reaching only the rarified stench/air of Rupp arena (no iron?). Yes, brother IB is a 666th degree Freemas0n when it comes to strumming string music with the nylon twine. Get used to it loser SportyED!

Some of these sorry Blog prEditors wield bigger sticks than do large circulation newspapers today. Tiny remnant bastions of free press, they at least have to follow some semblance of objectivity and fairness and are subject to oversight …however slight it might be. In case you haven’t noticed, the last twenty years has seen a unprecedented dumbing down of the news media types and their news vehicles. They ramble and their minions adore, else they are shown the door. While sports were never known for the plethora of jock-geniuses, there once lived a smattering of decent writers who could creatively manage an opinion and an arsehole simultaneously. Now, bloggers without spellcheck, gut check rednecks with keyboard and a favorite team blurt jumbo-mumbo to anyone snared by their click-bait.

Lemme guess? You, uh… grew up near there? Bingo…

What trailer park?

Furthering the inanity of the insanity, it’s been proven that sports *”experts”* are almost always invariably wrong when it comes to choosing game winners. Go figure?

*experts* – self-styled, self-serving, self-inflicted, self-obsessed low-to-mid talented losers who troll and spout sports opinion websites and major media network TV (see Gottlieb). Glorified thread jockeys.

And yet, one should NEVER disagree with said mighty BLOG Editor (Idiotor,) or one’s post may be French fried posthaste by hangers on waitin’ in the sidebar hotwings for almighty penman to grace their own mindfuck wordtwist with a like or a “recommend”.

Hoot this, WerdSmitty.

BWahahahahahaha… recommend me, please… such that my entire worthless two cents shall be blued in its background (that proud prestigious act of coloring the background of particularly enlightened posts). Justification for my somnolent blather… AT LONG LAST! Blue me Edman!

Double oh my.

Sports blogs are nothing more than hate gatherings, where supporters (homers) get together to villify other programs, blow off steam about why their team lost, and gloat when it wins. Sooner or later these groups tend to splinter, where… like in Middle School the most popular kids find support for their ideas and the less confident members follow them like lost puppies. These “pied-pipers” eventually begin to believe in the delusion themselves and take on the power persona of messianic know-it-all… dictating the course and behavior of the crowd, who are all too eager to laud their nonsensical our dad’s better-than-your-dad as if they wore the Purple and propaganda had never been invented. They usually end up crusified.
I think we all know what happens when many of these self-deluded god-figures realize they aren’t but are invincible (by use of the ban-from-site button like in the Dark Age Inquisition). They slowly but methodically begin to take out anyone who threatens their lie by  site banishment, or worse. Oh my you say? What’s worse than being banned from commenting on a two-bit blog? Nothing of course, but  it must be noted that banned readers may actually peruse, just NOT contribute to the site. I mean, we can all use a little click-cash can’t we?
and Impaled.
On sports blog it is called legal censorship or legal banishment from the discussions.  Discussions which ban dissenters, meaning sportydrivel becomes the lone orator; one who makes ridiculous demands of his readers… because… well, because…  for now… he can.
He is Risen.
“And lo’ they saw that after three days he had written The W0rd, but The Word was false. A large crowd had gathered and cried out, ‘Who is this pimple-faced boy with no history who comes to us with his false wisdom?’ But the pimple-boy, alarmed and indignant shouted back in haste; and he spoke to some wise men who were seated in the front row, ‘You are known to be wise and reticent with your words; but by this example I will control my flock. I hereby ban you from The Website‘.  And then a hush fell over the crowd and  soon tempers were  greatly diminished, but the wise men laughed in b as they had been banished.”
But, always feel free to click-and-read.