editors note: written by me and edited by (her) in third person.
sometimes she worries about her-self hatred
other times not-so-much
walls. Mirrored
separating real from chaff
duplicating projections
locked in with monster(s)
one, her man, the other… just a big fan
“of…her ass” (she says… tehe… failing to see it’s unanimous)
no doors or windows
I am me, thank god not him… she’s one of us
which one?
it once felt so right
but years passed
and 30 between us
now these gross reflections
my projection
bouncing to infinity.
who was right what went left
and terribly wrong
tiny fragments, lost respect, cumulative, additive?
a mad scramble each day
love wasn’t how I had promised
her seething hate satisfied by my kindness
she saw fake like my whole being
was she fake or real or crazy, if I’m fake add crazy too
Cause me thinks I’m real af
sanest mf on this planet
liar
now we understand the deal
had love in our grasp
let it slip away
for this
for that? what? WTF?
hell times ten thousand
doomed
trapped without escape.
don’t care
her ass always wins
wipes away her sins
where it ends another begins
C. M.aybe she knew him all along
hindsight 20/20
offered her hope
(and dope – he was bi-dopepedal)
ass-man and dope on slippery rope
artificially sweetened,
a thief
his whole person stiffer than his no.2 pencil
a personality to die for… by suicide
lost and alone… she stumbled… jumped into his trap (lap)
timing is everything words matter
reality bites honeypot, pain is good if you share it
burn down the mission elton
now he loves her (ass) too, but who is she
nobody and nothing but a pain in the ass with him.
ass (et) redundancy
a loser spotted a loser (loser’s ass)
so… did I lose or win?
S.o L.il M.issy’s hopes and dreams
happiness was or wasn’t it
T.otally A.nd permanently disabled
once a winner who no longer won
tripped and busted his head on reality
losers win holding the trophy
mirrors who lied to her who’s who what’s what
wrong was left and so was right
lies were truth, not consequences
and those were somehow mine
But… I did love her. Or not? I only think I know
she saw a reflection, can’t trust… anyone, or herself
oh.. wait…no…but yeah…Ok. I’m out… but, no.. really…. then take this, and this, and this, and that
You?… him?
OUCH!
“how’s it feel”, she’s laughing out loud
“not too good, no shitty… I mean fuckin’ shitty. Yeah.”
“remember… I love you, I mean… I think. Bye…” my famous last speech
THE END?
No, just the beginning…
two years ago…the consequences? Yep, all mine. fucking mirrors.
-30-
editor note: hopefully, this is the last I will comment on this piece, because… the rest? OMFG.
Sagaciously...Pugnacious 