House of Mirrors

(editors note: written in third person for a sick fiend friend)

sometimes she worries about her-self hatred

other times not-so-much

walls. mirrored

separating real from chaff

duplicating projections

locked in with monsters

one my man, the other… just a big fan

of…my ass tehe.

no doors or windows

Is he me or am I him

which one?

it felt right

years passed

now these gross reflections

bouncing to infinity.

what was right went left

and terribly wrong

or… I did

a mad scramble each day

love wasn’t how he promised

my seething hate satisfied by his kindness

was fake like his whole being

am I fake or real

now I understand the truth

had him in my grasp

let it slip away

for this

for this?

hell times ten thousand

doomed

trapped without escape.

don’t care

my ass always wins

wipes away my sins

many

C. M.aybe I knew him all along

hindsight 20/20

he offered me hope

(and dope)

lost alone I fell into his trap

reality bites honeypot

he loves me, but who am I

nobody and nothing with him.

loser spotted a loser

S.o L.ong M.y hopes and dreams

happiness was

T.otally A.nd permanently disabled

a winner who never wins

mirrors lied to me

wrong was right

lies were truth

he did love me. Or not?

I only saw a reflection.

oh…

-30-