(with a nod to George Carlin)
“Politically Correct” or ‘Back-Stab-ingly Pleasant’?
Man, I’m really getting tired of all this negative name calling…
I much prefer the soft landing civilized society (Progressives? nah) have embraced when it comes to labeling people or things. Especially if my being brutally honest might really pîss-off an overly-sensitive individual, forever damaging their psyche.
Or rather… should I say that I prefer to use, “indirect generalized naming conventions”, especially if there’s any danger of having to later apologize for, “presenting explicit factual data to an Intuitive Empath with anger management issues, which caused their urinary tract to deploy”.
See, isn’t that way(?) more precise, and all without offending anyone?
My High School mascot was changed after having always been the, “Iroquois Raiders” for this very reason. When they surveyed ex-graduates for alternative names I suggested, “Native American militia who employ top-of-head removal as a trophy recognition technique” figuring we could skirt the issue nicely. They passed. It would have been tough getting all that on the basketball jerseys anyway, I figured.
A guy on Facebook posted that he’s “tired of all these losers on Disability who get up late, then watch cartoons all day while he has to sit at a desk talking to customers on the phone, and watching his clock instead”. I replied that I’d be happy to trade my “latent non-competitive Sudden Death Syndrome income opportunity” even if I did have “an over-somatic CGI produced digital entertainment preference”, which I don’t, for his “time-of-day sensitive stationary customer pacification specialist” career anytime. But, only if we also trade our, “monthly renumeration participation enjoyment”. He passed. I unfriended.
My 10 year old son always says I’m “old”, even after explaining to him that… No, I’m just in the “early advanced entropy stage”.
He constantly badgers me about when we are going to buy a newer car and get rid of our “broke down beater”. I have to explain that I’d prefer to see it as a, “mechanically insolvent ex-luxury automobile.” And of course it’s, “retained for reasons of pecuniary impact”.
Sometimes, he gets it. The other day I called him inconsiderate (of Stefanie) for his habit of dropping his clean clothes on the floor, instead of folding them up and wearing them again before having them washed.
He said he wasn’t inconsiderate, merely being “overtly apathetically inclined toward domestic resources”.
I shot back, “Smart ass kid… how about just plain lazy?”
He asked, “Dad, can we settle on, “short-term energy saving efficient?”
“And uh… dad?”, as I bolted from his room…
“You know…” I mean… as a like new Information rich cognitive, who is slightly buttock down oriented?”
Well, maybe he really is learning something useful from me after all…???